Narcissism | Causes & Signs of being abused by a covert narcissist | Mental Health

Narcissists have a very important place in their so-called finest imagination, and the term “narcissist” is widely used to refer to people who appear too full of themselves. There’s also a growing sense that narcissism is on the rise around the world, especially among teenagers & young people.  Their behavior is classified as a psychological disorder called narcissistic personality disorder.

What is narcissism ?

Hello readers. Welcome back to my blog. In this blog post I am going to explain you about the narcissism. As I have an immense curiosity in human psychology, I decided to research some history, facts, NPD & general things associated with it, so that, as an addition to my knowledge it will ultimately benefit & serve as an important blog post for all readers.

Let’s start.

From where did this term narcissism came ?

Way before the first selfie, the ancient Greeks and Romans had a myth about someone a little too obsessed with his own image. In one telling, Narcissus was a handsome guy wandering the world in search of someone to love. After rejecting a nymph named Echo, he caught a glimpse of his own reflection in a river and fell in love with it. Unable to tear himself away, Narcissus drowned. A flower marked the spot of where he died, and we call that flower the Narcissus. 

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What’s the psychological viewpoint to it ?

The myth captures the basic idea of narcissism, elevated and sometimes detrimental self-involvement. But it's not just a personality type that shows up in advice columns. It's actually a set of traits classified and studied by psychologists. The psychological definition of narcissism is an inflated, grandiose self-image. To varying degrees, narcissists think they're better looking, smarter, and more important than other people, and that they deserve special treatment.

Psychologists recognize two forms of narcissism as a personality trait:

1) Grandiose narcissism

2) Vulnerable narcissism

Grandiose narcissism is the most familiar kind, characterized by extroversion, dominance, and attention seeking. Grandiose narcissists pursue attention and power, sometimes as politicians, celebrities, or cultural leaders. Of course, not everyone who pursues these positions of power is narcissistic. Many do it for very positive reasons, like reaching their full potential, or helping make people's lives better. But narcissistic individuals seek power for the status and attention that goes with it.

Meanwhile, vulnerable narcissists can be quiet and reserved. They have a strong sense of entitlement, but are easily threatened or slighted. In either case, the dark side of narcissism shows up over the long term. Narcissists tend to act selfishly, so narcissistic leaders may make risky or unethical decisions, and narcissistic partners may be dishonest or unfaithful. When their rosy view of themselves is challenged, they can become resentful and aggressive. It's like a disease where the sufferers feel pretty good, but the people around them suffer.

Some more variants…

Overt Narcissism :

Loud, outspoken, and always right. These narcissists tend to be bullies and use their words to tear down the people around them. This is the most common presentation of narcissism. 

Covert Narcissism :

Sneaky, like snakes in the grass. You might not even recognize this person as a narcissist. They pretend to be kind and gentle when in reality, they're manipulative and cold, feeding off the people closest to them They use people as a means to an end: to gain money, power, fame, whatever they want. 

Seductive Narcissism :

We don't mean seductive like high heels and fishnets. These narcissists tend to praise and idolize people close to them in order to get the same response back. They suck people in with admiration and compliments Then drop you with no warning. By playing hot and cold, they keep you on the hook and get their ego constantly fed. 

Vindictive Narcissism :

These people aim, shoot, and destroy. They're the most dangerous of all the narcissists and might be confused with the overt narcissists because of how outspoken they are. Be warned. These people will do and say anything to destroy their victims and Often will trash talk and incite anger and other third parties to turn more people against their victim.  

What causes narcissism?

In the United States, for example, narcissism as a personality trait has been rising since the 1970s, when the communal focus of the 60s gave way to the self-esteem movement and a rise in materialism. Twin studies show a strong genetic component, although we don't know which genes are involved.  But environment matters, too. Parents who put their child on a pedestal can foster grandiose narcissism. And cold, controlling parents can contribute to vulnerable narcissism. Narcissism also seems to be higher in cultures that value individuality and self-promotion. 

More recently, social media has multiplied the possibilities for self-promotion, though it's worth noting that there's no clear evidence that social media causes narcissism. Rather, it provides narcissists a means to seek social status and attention.

What is Narcissistic personality disorder [ NPD ] ?

Taken to the extreme, this behavior is classified as a psychological disorder called narcissistic personality disorder.  It affects one to two percent of the population, more commonly men. It is also a diagnosis reserved for adults. Young people, especially children, can be very self-centered, but this might just be a normal part of development. 

What is narcissism ?
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What is narcissism ?
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What is narcissism ?

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What is narcissism ?
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The fifth edition of the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual describes several traits associated with narcissistic personality disorder. They include a grandiose view of oneself, problems with empathy, a sense of entitlement, and a need for admiration or attention. What makes these traits a true personality disorder is that they take over people's lives and cause significant problems. 

Imagine that instead of caring for your spouse or children, you used them as a source of attention or admiration. Or imagine that instead of seeking constructive feedback about your performance, you instead told everyone who tried to help you that they were wrong.


Can narcissists improve on those negative traits?

Yes! Anything that promotes honest reflection on their own behavior and caring for others, like psychotherapy or practicing compassion towards others, can be helpful. The difficulty is it can be challenging for people with narcissistic personality disorder to keep working at self-betterment. For a narcissist, self-reflection is hard from an unflattering angle.


What are signs that show whether or not you're being abused by a covert narcissist ?

Minimization of our needs by them :

Do you feel like you're giving more than you're receiving? What about feeling small when you're around them? Covert narcissists have a sneaky way of getting inside people's head and making you believe like you're responsible for everything. They rarely take fault and even when they do apologize, they do it sparingly and without meaning just to get you to forgive them. They don't care for facts or logic, only what they want to hear or believe that benefits them. Recognize that what you need is important too, so don't only yield for their benefits.  

They forget that someone or you exists :

Being passionate about a hobby or a career is an attractive trait. But there's a fine line between passion and obsession. If your friend or romantic partner often ignores you or cancels plans with you to focus on their favorite activities, then it's a sign that they just don't care about you being understanding and open-minded. You probably always make up excuses for them. You frequently say things like: "Well, they worked hard to get where they are today" - "So I'm gonna be supportive... or, there's always next week. What's the rush?" But this is exactly how they have you wrapped around their finger. Don't let them have the upper hand and emphasize your boundaries.  

Projection of false humility towards you :

Do they often cry to you and put themselves down saying they aren't good enough or feel misunderstood? Before believing them, recognize that this is a trap. Covert narcissists like to play the victim card and feel like people never understand them enough. They might be highly sensitive Individuals who say things like - "If only people could understand how smart I am..." or "Why don't others appreciate who I am?" They love surrounding themselves with those who can boost their ego. It's better not to give in and dish out less compliments.  

They never approach you first and wait for you to come to them :

Covert narcissists feel a sense of entitlement. They believe that they should be appreciated and noticed first by others before giving someone attention in return. They dislike being in a group full of people unless all eyes and talk are on them. If you find yourself constantly putting in all the work and go to them first, then you've become their little puppet. Stand up for yourself and show them that you don't have all the time in the day to serve them. You're better than that! 

They seem annoyed when you come to them with your problems :

You're the reliable friend or partner that can always count on to listen to them when they're having a bad day. But you're human too. And sometimes, you have a bad day. When you run into trouble, do they grow impatient or frustrated and have a habit of dismissing your emotions? If they claim they're too busy to help you deal with your problems, then it's clear they lack empathy. A strong indicator that they're a narcissist at heart. It's better to find someone who treats you right instead of being with someone who takes you for granted. 

In the end...

Worrying you might be a narcissist? Don't. While you might present traits of narcissism, You're likely somewhere in the middle, non-dangerous portion of the spectrum. And if you're really worried, talk to your mental health professional about a possible diagnosis.

Please share this post with others. With your help, we can reach more people to spread awareness on mental health issues.

See you all in next exciting blog post. Till then keep sharing and exploring.

Happy learning.

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